This lesson was about examining the two sides within: weak vs. strong (id vs. ego)

I have to say that this was not an easy lesson for me to complete. I was worried that the assignment of simply putting together a two page spread was letting my weak-self off the hook just a little too easily. After all....my weak-self has been bullying me for 40 years! As many bullies that I have encountered - none of them was as mean to me, as I am to myself. Let me convey by telling the story of what happened to me on a very special cruise I went on when I was 25:

I used to make fun of myself before others had the chance to. I used to try to beat them to the punch....thinking it might hurt a little less if the words were never able to come from another persons mouth if I trumped their chance. The last time I CONSCIOUSLY did that was in the lounge just outside the theater for Cruise To Lose participants.... I had responded to a new friend (making fun of the fact that I was from Iowa) by saying, "Oh sure - pick on the FAT kid!" (which we all laughed at ....cause...well...we were all fat.) Then I saw my reflection in the glass across the way and said, "Oh crap - I don't know if I can take a week of seeing myself everywhere I am - this entire ship is a gigantic mirror!" It was then that Richard was walking by and he got all up in our little group, stood in front of me and said, "Ok, Lady - I want 5 things you love about yourself RIGHT NOW!"

I don't remember what I said about myself 15 years ago - I could go digging for my journal from the trip and tell you EXACTLY what happened next...but that's not the point. He told me before he walked off that he would be watching and listening for me to say anything bad about myself...and if I did the next time he'd ask for 10 good things...etc etc. When we got some one on one time - he brought up that discussion and asked me to think of everyone who'd ever made fun of me. He asked me to think about how they made me feel. He asked me if I trusted them. He asked me to think of them all in one room....would I enter that room? Then he turned it on me and said - now YOU are in that room of mirrors you were talking about. Sixty YOU's staring back at you. Tell me - who is the biggest bully you know?


When you belittle yourself or your hearts work.....you are bullying yourself. In terms of this class - you are the weak-self mocking the strong-self. So many of us are on auto pilot verbally or mentally and let ourselves preemptively striking down our own ideas, creations, or life situations without even realizing we are doing it or the damage it's causing.


But that 25 yr old in me who learned a valuable lesson WANTS to come out and feels the need to step in and say "Hey, Hey now!!! Stop being so hard on yourself and enjoy the BEAUTY, the GRACE, the LIGHT, the PASSION, the CREATIVITY that only YOU can bring to the world!!!"

Now give me FIVE things you love about yourself!!! *smiles*